Benefits of Mindfulness for the Highly Sensitive Person

Written by: Kally Doyle

You may have heard the term “highly sensitive person”, or “HSP”. Another word often used to describe this type of person is “empath”. I want to take a moment to explore what these words mean and how the practice of mindfulness can help individuals who identify as HSP and empaths reduce some of their anxiety and strengthen their emotional boundaries and regulation. I will be using the words empath & HSP interchangeably throughout this article.

A HSP/empath is not a diagnosis, or a “technical term” per say, but it can be helpful for understanding a certain set of traits in some people. A highly sensitive person is someone who often feels very affected by others’ emotions & stories, even just by listening to them or being around them. A HSP is often very subconsciously attuned to body language cues in others, which can result in positive and negative consequences at times. Being so innately attuned to others can truly be a gift, as others often feel it very easy to connect to empaths, and as such they will often open up to the empath more often and more deeply than with others. This can be great for enhancing relationships, and inspiring honest and fruitful communication.

However, HSP often feel very overwhelmed very easily as a result of being so in tune with others all of the time. It can be exhausting to be constantly and automatically “reading the room” and being aware of so many people’s emotions at one time. HSP then struggle to differentiate what they are feeling as a product of their own experiences or that of those around them. A consequence of this can be short-term and long-term anxiety, as well as feeling guilty for setting boundaries with others.

What causes a person to be an empath is not exactly known. It is likely a combination of personality, trauma, and relational experiences from earlier in life. Not everyone has this capability to feel exactly what another person is feeling, and so often times the empath feels guilty for having feelings because they go unnoticed or they are dismissed by others. A person can also have empathy for others without being considered an empath. Typically the difference is that an empath feels things deeper, and more automatically than someone who just has empathy.

If the above description sounds like you, or you’ve known of these terms and identify as a HSP, please know therapy can help you learn more about yourself and how to work with your gift while having stronger boundaries and feeling less anxious, overwhelmed, over-extended, and burnt out. Not all empaths struggle with boundary-setting, but many have found themselves feeling bad for having their own emotions or feeling overwhelmed at trying to keep up relationships with others.

In therapy, there are many different areas of focus you and your therapist will likely explore, and some of the focus will be on techniques and exercises to help reduce some of the anxiety you experience. I’d like to hone in on one particular skill that can be of use to HSP:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be defined as simply being in the present moment, without judgement towards the self for any feelings, thoughts, or sensations that arise. The concept pulls heavily from Buddhism. It has been gaining popularity in the U.S. as positive results come in from studies on its effectiveness in reducing emotional reactivity & unwanted, reactive behaviors.

To practice mindfulness, you don’t need to be in a particular place, sitting in a particular position. You can be at home, you can be in the office, you can even be in the car. It eventually becomes more of a way of living than an “exercise”. This doesn’t happen over night, and it takes a lot of practice to learn to not judge oneself when distracting thoughts pop up or unwanted feelings present. A great introductory video to mindfulness can be found here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6T02g5hnT4

There are mindful meditations you can find via youtube (try searching for “mindfulness meditation for beginners”, or “mindfulness meditation for anxiety”). They range in length from just a few minutes to even a few hours to help you fall asleep at night. Your therapist can introduce you to simple introductory mindfulness exercises such as mindful breathing (setting a timer and focusing on slow, deep breathing and the sensations that arise from that), using a hand lotion and applying while asking yourself about any sensations (including scent, temperature, thickness of lotion, how do each of your fingers feel as you massage them), and more. I recommend starting with a shorter, simpler mindfulness exercise such as the hand lotion exercise in order to learn what it feels like to focus on a present experience. Having your therapist guide you through exercises can help you be more present and can help you understand the concept better as well.

The reason I suggest this for a HSP is because often that person carries so many emotions with them at any given time. This can feel confusing, frustrating, and anxiety-provoking. It can also indicate they have not established healthy emotional boundaries with others- “care, don’t carry” is a phrase I use with many of my empath clients to help them understand it is ok to care about another person, but no one needs you to carry their pain for them- it is theirs, after all.

Practicing some form of mindfulness on a regular basis can help us learn to “get out of our head” and reduce the amount of worry we have for others at any given time by helping us learn to simply exist in any given moment. It can teach us more about where all of these over-stimulating feelings are coming from (is it our energy or someone else’s?) and help us learn that not everything requires a reaction (which is important for empaths because we often feel the need to “take care” of everyone’s emotions all of the time). In return, this can lead to us feeling more confident in setting emotional and physical boundaries with others because we become more in tune with ourselves and our own needs.

I definitely recommend checking out youtube for mindfulness meditations and exercises to begin your journey with this concept. I also recommend finding a therapist with training in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), as this type of therapy places a large focus on mindfulness, or finding a therapist who may not use DBT but who is educated in mindfulness and its benefits.