The Pandemic: A Different Type of Stress
Written by: Kally Doyle
COVID-19 has been impacting us for over a year and a half now. Of course, we’ve all heard the phrase “the new normal”, and for many individuals grabbing our mask as we leave the house is not even a second thought anymore. In some regards, this truly has become “a new normal”- being aware of how close we are to strangers in lines at the store, carrying a mask in your pocket or purse (and often a spare one just in case), obtaining a free drive-thru COVID test when we feel sick or may have been exposed to the virus. Festivals and large events across the United States are now issuing official statements requiring attendees to show proof of a negative COVID test obtained within 72 hours or proof of full vaccination for entry. Life has really changed since the beginning of 2020, and I think we can all agree anxiety has increased for us as a society, and as individuals.
So, how do we deal? How do we cope with all of these changes, from including a mask in our wardrobe to dealing with others who are also emotionally-charged and who hold views opposite to our own during this time?
I do not personally nor professionally hold a magic wand to wave (I wish- hello Hogwarts!) and solve this issue or immediately lessen the intensity of emotions we may hold. I also recognize that this has been trauma on an individual-level as well as worldwide. However, here are a few activities and tips I suggest for coping and learning to live with the uncertainty at this time…as always, I do not suggest anything I do not use myself.
Get active
You need to find a way to get your body moving! I know when we feel anxious or depressed the last thing we often want to do is put on gym clothes, drive to the gym, be around other people, etc. However, please know going to the gym 5 days a week is not the only option. If you’re already there, great, you likely know the benefits already. However, engaging in movement does not have to mean hours at the gym. You can do it at home, in your backyard, walking around your neighborhood or a park, at a specialized gym or facility (boxing, yoga, dance). Engaging in movement does not always mean you have to sweat your butt off doing jumping jacks and lunges either. I recommend exploring a variety of movement activities to find which one(s) really compliment your interests. You can stretch at home for 15-30 minutes, dance along to youtube dance videos (it’s a workout, trust me- also fun with a friend!), engage in flow arts (dancing with different props such as poi, light toys, hula hoops, and more), go kayaking, try a pole dancing class, try rock climbing, try a beginner aerial silks class, take up running (try the couch to 5k program, for example) and more. Often what stops us from exercising is we hold the view that it has to look a certain way (i.e. weightlifting and/or cardio in the gym 4x a week) and when we struggle to achieve that specific expectation, instead of adjusting the expectation we beat ourselves up and give up trying at all. Engaging in a variety of activities that get us off the couch leads to a greater chance of enjoyment and personal improvement in at least one of those activities. Plus, you get the opportunity to learn more about yourself, get a change in scenery, create a distraction from mindlessly consuming controversial social media posts, and to use your body in new, creative ways.
Find a way to maintain or build social connection
Our relationships and social lives are arguably one of the biggest areas we have had to adjust in since the pandemic began. As we have had to be more isolated than before, some of us have found ourselves having a smaller social circle, no circle at all, or struggling to make ourselves commit to plans with others. I encourage you to work on prioritizing social connection in a safe way. We know from research that not having someone to process an experience and emotions with is a key risk factor in the development of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Despite pressure being on us to keep our distance from others, we need to make sure we do not forsaken all of our relationships. It may feel better in the moment to stay at home because we are anxious or feeling down and we feel we do not have the mental capacity to deal with someone else, but in the long run this actually causes higher anxiety. Repetitive avoidance of something uncomfortable eventually leads to overwhelming anxiety of that very thing (person, place, activity, feeling), and we also are jeopardizing our mental wellbeing by holding all of our emotions in and not having anyone to share them with. I suggest finding a way to engage socially this week, in whatever way you feel comfortable. If you don’t have friends you can spend time with, whether over Facetime or in person, I suggest joining Facebook groups or apps that allow you to connect with others who have similar interests.
Have a safe person or professional to confide in
This can be a best friend, family member, partner, or a mental health professional. I especially recommend seeking a professional if no one in your life is able to hold space for you emotionally and validate your experiences during this tough time. Again, sharing your emotions with a safe person can help prevent the development of trauma responses.
Limit social media exposure
It is tempting during this time to want to “stay informed” or to keep checking for updates on COVID-19, etc. I encourage you to refrain from having the news on for hours, or from scouring internet articles and pages where individuals are engaging in arguing and/or discussion of COVID-19. If you want to check in on certain sites that do this, limit to checking in once a week. If you find yourself engaging in COVID-related arguments online with internet strangers, it’s likely time to put the phone down or try following other interests online. I know it can be tempting to tell that “anti-masker” off on reddit, but I suggest refraining. No matter what side of things you are on, in any issue, trying to convince internet strangers to feel the exact same way you do has worked out exactly 0% of the time.
Set verbal, emotional, and/or physical boundaries with others
It is ok to not feel ok. Yes, I mean that. We have all been impacted by this pandemic. We all know someone or multiple someones who have been hospitalized or who have passed away, we may have been sick ourselves, we may feel exhausted from hearing about the virus, and most of us have likely endured some change in routine (such as working from home) due to the pandemic. It can feel like a lot to balance the worry, with the changes we have experienced, with the expectations of other people in our lives. Learn to set boundaries about how often you are available to chat or lend a hand or ear to someone else. It is ok to say no in order to recharge your own battery. Most of us feel we need to recharge our batteries more often in the past 1.5 years- that is understandable. Saying something simple like, “Hey friend, I can’t talk tonight, but I am available tomorrow after 5 for a video call” is one way to honor your own need of taking space but also acknowledging your friend’s desire to connect with you and offering a solution.
These are just a few suggestions to help ensure you are prioritizing your emotional wellbeing. Connect with a therapist to learn more in depth about setting boundaries, as well as other ways of caring for yourself.
